First Time
by shelby98
Summary: Ritsuka's mom is arrested and now he lives with Soubi. When Ritsuka has a bad dream about his brother how will Soubi comfort him and what will Ritsuka have to do so they can both move forward? *Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.* *Warning: Yaoi (GuyXGuy)* *Heads Up: I've only watched the 12 anime episodes so don't think this is what happens!*


**A friend told me this idea and I just had to write this! Hope you guys like it and please check out my other work! ENJOY! (Some part's written by Mamakana)**

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~2 months earlier~

Blue and red lights flashed outside Ritsuka's home as his mother was being hauled into a police car, fighting tooth and nail the whole way. A neighbor had called in fear for Ritsuka's safety after hearing raised voices and load crashes. When police and medical arrived Ritsuka's mom was still freaking out and Ritsuka was bleeding heavily. Ritsuka was taken to the hospital and treated of all wounds and Soubi was there when he woke up. While Ritsuka had been asleep, Soubi had been appointed to be his temporary guardian. Ritsuka was released from the hospital and went to his mothers hearing two weeks later. She was deemed mentally unstable and was put in a physicist ward until any progressed was made. Ritsuka was supposed to be placed in a foster home but with a quick word with the judge and Soubi was officially his guardian.

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~Now~

Ritsuka had been living with Soubi for little more than a month. Soubi usually let him be except at meal times. Soubi had Ritsuka agree to at least have dinner together, hoping that he would start to open up. Soubi thought that if he didn't try to push him, Ritsuka would start to trust him. He knew that Ritsuka was closed off and upset, but he really had no idea the true battle that was ragging through him. Ritsuka had always been good at hiding his emotions, so it was no surprise that even with Soubi's power, he was unable to see what was really wrong, but Ritsuka had just about reached his limit.

Ritsuka was asleep and in his dream, he finally snapped. It was always the same dream. Ritsuka running as fast as he could down the hallway to his classroom.

_'I'm not going to make it! I have to make it! I have to save Seimei!'_

Ritsuka tosses and turns in bed. A huge wave of emotion crashes past his barriers and hit Soubi like a fright train in the next room and he knows something's wrong. Soubi gets up and goes to check on Ritsuka. Ritsuka is still thrashing around in his sleep as he tries to run faster in his dream. He finally gets to his classroom and looks in to see Seimei in his seat with his head bowed. Ritsuka tries to move forward but can't enter the classroom.

_"Seimei!"_

Seimei looks up and see's Ritsuka. With tears in his eyes he says the words that have been echoing in his head since Ritsuka watched his brother die.

_"I'm sorry Ritsuka."_

Flame erupts around him.

_"SEIMEI!"_

Ritsuka wakes up still calling Seimei's name. He tries to breathe but feels like the world is crashing around him.

"Ritsuka! Ritsuka, breathe! It's ok. I'm right here, calm down." Ritsuka looks up and see's Soubi looking back at him.

"S-Soubi?"

"Ya, I'm right here. What's wrong? What happened?" Ritsuka couldn't take it anymore. He'd finally snapped. Before Soubi could prepare himself, Ritsuka lunged into his chest and wrapped his arms around, sobbing uncontrollably. Soubi looked down at Ritsuka in shock, but quickly recovered and wrapped his arms Ritsuka and held him tight as he stroked his hair.

"Ritsuka, what was your dream about? What made you like this?" Ritsuka calmed slightly at Soubi's words and the comfort of having his hair stroked.

"It . . . it was Seimei. I-I watched Seimei die." Ritsuka started to sob again and and Soubi instantly understood. All of Ritsuka's defenses were down and Soubi could now see and feel the damage and suffering Ritsuka had been going through. Soubi never thought Ritsuka could hold so much emotion and stress. He knew Ritsuka was good at fooling people and hiding his feelings but this was just ridiculous. If Soubi had known how Ritsuka was feeling he would've tried harder to understand him.

"Soubi." Ritsuka had calmed down again and was looking up at Soubi. Ritsuka calling out his name pulled Soubi back down to earth.

"Yes, Ritsuka?" Ritsuka closed his eyes and leaned against Soubi's chest.

"Soubi . . . I want to forget. Even if it's just for a moment. Please . . . help me forget" Soubi was shocked that Ritsuka would be so forward to ask of this. Soubi had an idea as to what Ritsuka could want, but he needed to be sure.

"What would you have me do?" Ritsuka tensed slightly before deciding that he definitely wanted to do this. Ritsuka then buried his face in Soubi's chest.

"Soubi . . . take my ears. Please, I'll have no regrets. Please." Soubi looked down, watching Ritsuka, hesitated for a moment before answering.

"If that's what you really wish."

"Yes."

(Here and after written by Mamakana)

Soubi nodded and, to Ritsuka's surprise, lifted him up and carried him into the bathroom.

"Wh-what are you-"

"If this going to work, if we're going to do this right," Soubi explained as he filled the bathtub with hot water, "You need to relax." Soubi quickly undressed Ritsuka, much to his embarrassment, and placed him in the tub. After making sure Ritsuka was alright, he left. Confused out of his mind, but trusting in Soubi, Ritsuka tried to relax.

Soubi quickly cleaned his room. He lite candles and incense, and set the lube out on his night stand. _'__If only i had rose petals,' _Soubi mused as he surveyed the room. Satisfied that he had made the room as romantic as possible, he returned to the bathroom. Soubi helped Ritsuka out of the tub and dry off.

Ritsuka started walking back to his room, but Soubi stopped him, throwing Ritsuka over his shoulder and heading to his bedroom. Ritsuka complained loudly about the way Soubi was carrying him, but his protests died when Soubi dumped him on the bed and Ritsuka noticed the room.

"Soubi . . . what is all this?"

"I wanted to make it special for you." Soubi knelt on the bed next to Ritsuka. "I wanted to replace the bad memories with something beautiful."

"Soubi . . ." Before Ritsuka could say anything else, Soubi silenced him with a kiss. Blushing furiously, Ritsuka returned the kiss with as much passion as he could.

"Command me Ritsuka," Soubi whispered seductively in his ear, "Tell me what you want, my love."

Ritsuka's heart stuttered at the endearment, and even though he hadn't thought it possible, his blush deepened. "Take me Soubi. Claim me. Make me yours. Make me forget." Soubi growled, attacking Ritsuka's lips in a bruising kiss. He quickly removed the towel Ritsuka was wearing, running a hand down his chest, making Ritsuka gasp. Soubi pulled back and stepped off the bed. Ritsuka watch with clear question in his eyes, as Soubi dug through his dresser. Suddenly Soubi returned. Ritsuka's eyes widened in shock when he saw what Soubi was holding.

"N-No, No Soubi, don't even think about it!" Ritsuka protested, attempting to back away across the bed. Smiling almost evilly, Soubi lunged across the bed, trapping Ritsuka. Before Ritsuka could blink, Soubi had one of his wrists tied to the popster of the headboard with a pair of fizzy black handcuffs.

"Soubi! Wh-what is this!? What are you doing!?" Ritsuka was beginning to panic.

"Do you trust me?" Soubi asked the question in the most serious tone he ever used. Ritsuka looked up at him. Soubi was kneeling in front of him and he had the most serious expression on his face. It froze Ritsuka in place.

"Because I need you to trust me, Ritsuka. This won't work if you can't."

"Soubi, I-I . . ." Ritsuka could feel the tears welling up and knwe be couldn't stop them. He knew what Soubi was asking of him. He just didn't know if he could do it.

"You need to let go." Soubi whispered, stroking Ritsuka's cheek. "Seimei made his choice. Nothing could have changed what happened, Ritsuka," He cupped Ritsuka's chin, forcing him to look at him, "And hurting yourself over what happened isn't going to change anything. There will always be things in life you can't control, no matter how hard you try." Soubi held Ritsuka's gaze with his own, making it impossible for him to look away. Soubi's eyes were filled with such concern, love, and sadness that it made Ritsuka's heart hurt.

"You want to escape from the past, but before we begin our future together, and we will have a future, I need you to face the past. I need you to accept it, and most of all I need you to forgive yourself. Can you do that?"

Ritsuka closed his eyes, trying to hide the pain. He knew Soubi was right, but how could he forgive himself? Everything that had happened was his fault. He was a curse, a disease, loveless, he . . . 'Belongs to Soubi.' The thought almost made his heart stop. Did he? Really? Could he?

"Ritsuka . . ." Soubi's voice pulled him out of his mind and when he looked into Soubi's eyes, seeing nothing but love and patience, he knew without a doubt that yes, he did. Ritsuka reached out to Soubi, who leaned toward him. Ritsuka whispered in his ears the words he had not said to anyone since Seimei's death.

"I love you"

In those three words, Soubi could feel Ritsuka's exceptence of the past and his willingness to move forward. Smiling, his first real smile in a long time, Soubi removed the handcuffs, tossing them to the other side of the room. "As I love you." He kissed Ritsuka gently, reverently, slowly pushing the boy down on the bed.

Ritsuka laid back, his open arms outstretched, ready to accept Soubi. Soubi quickly removed his own pants and returned to the bed, falling into Ritsuka's waiting arms. The kisses began slow and soft, gradually increasing in intensity as Ritsuka became accustomed to the new sensations running through his body. Soubi caressed him, running his hands along Ritsuka's sides, stomach, and legs. Ritsuka clutched at his shoulders, mewling, gasping and whimpering as Soubi kissed, licked, and nipped down his neck and chest.

"Soubi, please." Ritsuka begged, gasping when Soubi wrapped his hand around Ritsuka's cock, pumping it slowly. Ritsuka thrust his hips, trying to get the friction he needed.

"Hold on." Soubi murmured to the impatient boy, smirking at his antics. He reached out to the dresser and grabbed the bottle of lube. When he popped it open the lid, the scent of chocolate filled the room. Ritsuka's eyes widened and the stared at Soubi in disbelief. Soubi shrugged, "I like chocolate."

Ritsuka giggled at him, then gasped as Soubi's lube covered finger probed his entrance. Soubi slowly inserted one, slowly working in three, thrusting and wiggling them, making Ruitsuka moan and whimper in pleaser. When he was certain Ritsuka was ready, he removed his fingers, despite Ritsuka's protests and entered him in one swift thrust, trying to minimize the. Ritsuka winced, but it really wasn't that bad, and he had been expecting some pain.

"Sorry." Soubi gasped in Ritsuka's ear, the pleasure if being inside him, feeling his tight, hot core enveloping him, made it nearly impossible to speak.

"S' okay." Ritsuka murmured. The feeling of being filled completely, of being one with Soubi, had left him almost speechless. He shifted his hips, pulling Soubi deeper into him and cried out in shock at the jolt of the electricity that shot through him. "Soubi, please . . . Move!"

Soubi thrust into him slowly, not wanting to hurt him but Ritsuka wouldn't have it. He wrapped his legs around Soubi's waist, his arms around his neck and sank his teeth into into Soubi's shoulder. Soubi growled and jerked his hips, thrusting into Ritsuka hard and fast. Ritsuka's whole body locked up and he screamed into Soubi's shoulder. His blood felt as if it were made of fire and his body was melting in the heat. Soubi grinned realizing he'd hit the boy's prostate. Angling his hips he thrust again, striking that same bundle of nerves. This time Ritsuka released Soubi's shoulder, throwing his head back, wailing in pleasure. Soubi thrust faster, harder, and deeper, Ritsuka meeting him with every thust, hip's jerking. The room was filled with the sounds of their gasps and moans.

Ritsuka momentarily lost the ability to breath when Soubi began pumping him in time with his thrusts. He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled Soubi closer to him. He could feel something welling up within him, a strange sensation filling him.

"Soubi I . . . What is . . . I can't . . . Ah, ah-hah . . . Soubi!"

"Just let it happen." Soubi whispered as he kissed Ritsuka. "Just let go. Fall apart Ritsuka and let me put you back together."

Ritsuka threw his head back and screamed as he came. "Soubi!"

The feeling of Ritsuka's walls milking him brought Soubi into his own release. He locked his teeth into Ritsuka's neck and spilled himself inside him, marking him as his in every way possible.

It was a few moments before their breathing calmed and Soubi found the energy to pull out and rolled over, taking Ritsuka in his arms. Ritsuka snuggled into his chest, clutching to him for dear life. As he fell asleep, Soubi smiled, watching Ritsuka's ears turn to dust and falling away.

"Sleep well." He whispered as he fell asleep. Neither noticed when Ritsuka's true name vanished only to reappear in a cloud of sparkling light. Loveless was now and forever . . .

_Beloved._


End file.
